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Humour, Stories

Throwback Thursday

Since the dawn of Instagram, the internet has dubbed this day of the week “Throwback Thursday.” In homage to this day, I thought it’d be fitting to fill out one of those classic email questionnaires that you would forward to every single one of your contacts back in junior high. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you obviously didn’t live your teenage years to the fullest (or are significantly older/younger than me). And I feel sorry for you… #notsomethingyouwanttobragabout

For you poor souls who don’t know what I’m talking about, I went through my old hotmail account and found this gem I filled out the summer before I went into grade 10. I was 15.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? not sure

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I don’t cry… I’m made of steel!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? no, except for my name

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? mac and cheese

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yes… damn it morgan what were their names like santa elvis christmas gretchen … there’s three for sure and they are in that range

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? not sure… depends what kind of person i was

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? why yes i do all the time

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? sure don’t

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? prolly except I would be super scared before I did it

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Cheerios

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? nope

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? i am weak… but i have rock hard abs

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? vanilla or chocolate chip cookie dough

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their smile… if they are smiling… it tells you if they are a generally happy person

15. RED OR PINK? red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I can be mean

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my lover zac efron he’s busy shooting a new movie right now called 17 again so we haven’t been together for a while

18. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE WILL SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? haha no no one will

19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? denim (jeans) and no shoes but i was wearing my white nike air force ones

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? toast and eggs

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? well my slave monkey is actually playing twinkle twinkle little star to me on his miniature piano like off of Charlie Brown… he’s very talented

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? prolly green

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS? cookies, CHI hair stuff

24. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? kynan stenson… i lied and told him that mitchell wasn’t home but he was

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? i kind of have to, he’s my brother

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH? dance, hockey, soccer and football

27. HAIR COLOUR? auburn ha

28. EYE COLOUR? blue a lot but a little bit of grey and green sometimes

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? only for dance

30. FAVOURITE FOOD? pizza hehe, peanut butter, toast, shrimp and god brett its FILLET MIGNON not megnon

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? what if the scary movie has a happy ending? lol anyways i pick happy endings because scary movies are stupid… i have great ideas for a real horror movie… right morgan?

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? mean girls… but does it count if i only watched to the part where the girl says it’s not my fault i have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina? haha

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black (my VR shirt)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? can i pick spring?

35. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs

36. Favourite DESSERT? brownies!! special brownies…

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND????? courtney… i don’t know i going out on a limb here

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? brett because he has already responded to this

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Love, Stargirl

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? your mom

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? didn’t watch tv last night but we played guitar hero and watched the messengers and mean girls

42. FAVOURITE SOUND? the yellow chord on guitar hero haha i don’t know… prolly silence

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? mmm. very hard to pick… its pretty much like tie for me

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? disneyland

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? now that you ask i can stand on one hand, drink a tab, do flips and pick my nose all at once

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?  Camrose hospital

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? um… haha no ones but one would be greatly appreciated

Soooooo I had originally planned on retaking the same questionnaire that I found but it turns out that most of my answers would be the same. Other than obviously embracing proper spelling (prolly means “probably”), capitalisation, and punctuation, I am still that immature 15-year-old filling out ridiculously pointless questionnaires. Your mom is still on my mouse pad (like I even have a mouse pad). I still quote Mean Girls and play Guitar Hero. And Cheerios will forever be my cereal. But I have definitely been further from home than Disneyland. I now like The Beatles more than The Stones. I have NEVER had special brownies but would not be opposed to eating some. And I don’t drink Tab only for the sole purpose that they don’t make it anymore… SADFACE. OH… and I checked my emails. Courtney was definitely the first person to respond to it. So now I’m basically psychic.

Now… at the age of 21 2/3, I am going to fill out another questionnaire. I will probably not be ashamed of it upon completion but in 6 years, I’m 100% sure that I will think I was some weirdo. At least I generally know how to implement proper spelling and grammar usage.

What flavour Kool-Aid is your favorite? Raspberry lemonade.

What are you listening to right now? A song called “Blood” by The Middle East. I was watching Crazy, Stupid Love and discovered it playing in the last scene. You could watch the film for the song. You could also watch it for shirtless Ryan Gosling. 

What is the last thing you ate? Lobster, bitches.

Can you drive a stick-shift? HELL YEAH.

Can you do push ups? Barely. I always bend my right arm but not my left.

What’s your favourite piece of jewelry? I don’t have a favourite but I ALWAYS wear a watch.

Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yeah, she’s fucking awesome. (I sent it to myself…)

Favourite drink? Coke Zero. I’m addicted.

Favourite hobby? Photography or knitting. Oh and I love dance. I just don’t get around to doing it very often.

Favourite food? I really like pizza. That makes me sound so juvenile.

Do you wear contacts or glasses? I wear glasses.

What do you do to vent anger? I gallop to a wooded glen and punch-dance out my rage.

Middle name? Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? “I wonder how much it would cost to actually change my middle name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.” “What is that smell?” “Do I sound cool?”

Current worry? My future.

Current hate? Carbs.

Favourite place to be? Curled up in bed.

Where would you like to go? All over Canada, New York City, France, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland, England, Croatia, Turkey, Morocco, Vietnam, New Zealand, everywhere, anywhere.

What was your favourite toy as a child? I was quite spoiled so I had a lot of toys but I had this stuffed bear, Teddy, that I always cuddled before bed.

Fall or Spring? FALL.

Hugs or kisses? Hugs.

When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago I was watching my last dance recital on video. By the time the finale was over, I felt tears falling down my face. So dramatic, I know, but I miss dance 😦

Who has been your friend the longest? Courtney has been my friend since I was born. She was born in the same hospital two days before me. I am so lucky!

Do you own slippers? Yes.

What color shirt are you wearing right now? I am wearing a grey shirt from the last Metric concert I went to.

Can you whistle? Sadly, no.

Favourite colour? Probably red.

What songs do you sing in the shower? “Singin’ in the Rain” (I splash puddles like Gene Kelly) and lately, “Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake but I’m a horrible singer… even in the shower.

What’s in your pocket? Always Kleenexes. Never money. #poorlife

Worst injury you’ve ever had as a child? I’ve always been clumsy. I had a billion black eyes when I was a baby. I used to always fall off bikes, roller blades, merry-go-rounds, … basically anything slightly off ground-level. But I’ve never broken or sprained any limbs/bones.

Do you love where you live? My apartment works but I don’t love it. I get to live with my brother so at least I get to be the boss. I live in a great city though.

What are you afraid of? I am afraid of living a life that I don’t want for myself. And snakes.

Favourite car? My Cavalier named Stanley (the standard).

Favourite dog breed? Dachshunds! They’re both cute and funny-looking.

Favourite holiday? Halloween.

Who is your loudest friend? Katie has a loud laugh. Ally talks loud on the phone.

How many dogs do you have? None.

Cats? One, my sassy little Nala.

Does someone have a crush on you? HAHAHAHA

What is your favorite book? The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger

What is your favourite candy? Dinosours FTW.

What song do you want played at your funeral? Highway to Hell- ACDC… That was a joke.

… Wow. I’m sorry I put you through that but I enjoyed it… a little too much. No wonder I spent so many hours of my youth filling out questionnaires that no one probably ever read. It’s interesting though because you learn things about yourself in the sense that the questions being asked aren’t something you normally think about. (And therefore probably hold no true significance) At least this will prove interesting for me when I come back to read it in another 6 years. Maybe that’s who the questionnaires are for after all?

Now because you have made it ALL the way to the end of this post, I have a treat for you.

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Enjoy some images of my youth, in true “throwback” fashion: evil smiles and mushroom cuts, a Pochahontas version of the Canadian Tuexdo, and a black eye. The last two with the added bonus of those horrible plant holders and carpet that used to occupy our living room.

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