Yeah, I didn’t make you wait long. Today is your special day! Today shall henceforth be blessed with a Hump Day Hottie!
Some of you are probably guessing I chose Justin Timberlake to be today’s stud… Well I could. But you’d likely all hate my stinkin’ guts for making another post about him. Plus, I get to see him in my dreams so screw you. You may also be wondering if this hottie is my long-standing fling, Zac Efron. Well no, he’s QUITE dedicated to me and me only, so I’m not sharing that shit. No… TODAY’S HUMP DAY HOTTIE IS…
Full name: Ryan Thomas Gosling
How I refer to him: Ryan “The Sex God” Gosling
Date of Birth: November 12, 1980
[You’re wondering why I require both? Because like Joey Tribbiani “I’m a doctor not a mathematician!” … Also if you don’t understand that quote, GTFO my blog. Jokes. Just watch Friends season 8, episode 24]
Relationships: Sandra Bullock, Rachel McAdams, Kat Dennings (who knew, the lucky bitch?!), Blake Lively, Olivia Wilde, and currently, Eva Mendes. I’m assuming he has also dated non-famous people at one point in his lifetime but that can be neither confirmed nor denied.
Best known for: being adorable in The Notebook (even though I dislike anything with Nicholas Sparks’ name attached to it), and being the subject of the ‘Hey Girl’ memes, which have resulted in the creation of Feminist Ryan Gosling, a book carried by Urban Outfitters.
Thank you Ryan. Also, I love you.
walking/carrying his dog everywhere (even on Late Night TV programs),
and making weird faces at paparazzi.
What you don’t know about him: When he was young, he was bullied, couldn’t read, and was on Are You Afraid of the Dark? He kicked it with none other than JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE as a Mouseketeer. Despite their onscreen chemistry and their later relationship, Ryan did not get along with Rachel McAdams on the set of The Notebook.
Which version do you like better?
Why I love him (and why you should too): He’s Canadian (and can rock a Canadian tuxedo)! He did the Dirty Dancing lift with Emma Stone whilst his “fucking photoshopped” abs were all exposed in Crazy, Stupid Love (a film which I have referenced too many times on this blog without me actually admitting that I like it). He also attempted this same lift with Al Roker [insert joke about Al Roker pooping his pants at the White House here]. He’s in a band, Dead Man’s Bones, which makes the whole Ray-Ban/guitar/white tee look so much more relevant. And sexy. Plus, his performance in Half Nelson is great.
Why he is the perfect Hump Day Hottie: Because he, sadly, announced this past week that he is taking a break from acting. But don’t worry! If you’re missing your Gosling fix, you can call an invention of British genius, The Gosline, a 24-hour hotline that plays clips of the actor’s studly voice. It’s not free, but really, is it not worth it to hear Ryan telling you that, “I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday…” ??? YES! IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY/POUND/WHATEVER.
Hopefully that was a generous enough amount of Ryan images for you to be able to forgive me.
If it’s not, then here is a link to a Ryan Gosling colouring book. Yeah, you read that correctly. Thank me later. Or send me your coloured-in images. I am always looking for new artwork to decorate my walls and shit.
And if that still doesn’t hit the spot, GO GOOGLE RYAN GOSLING. Because if this bounty of Ryan Gos goodness isn’t enough, the Google Images search engine will secure every fantasy you have ever had.
The Hump Day Hotties and I will see you another week when you have been deserted for a significant amount of time. But right now I have a call to tend to.
b & My Sex God