Being badass, is more just than an act, it’s a way of life. Take it from me… the Queen of Badass-ery.
Because I’m such a humbling, generous person, I want to extend to you three tips to enrich your life to badass status.
1. Wake up to a song that rocks. For those true badass peeps out there, being badass isn’t something that kicks in after your long morning shower or your breakfast burrito wakes you up. No, it kicks in as soon as you wake up. Because when you’re conscious, your badass-ness is conscious… or whatever. Make your alarm play that song that makes you say, “Ahhh yeah” as soon as you hear it playing at the club (or on the radio or at a wedding dance or whatever) because you know the song makes you feel like a fucking god. Those of us who are badass always feel like a fucking god. Like Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song.” That’s one of my favourites. I also enjoy others like “Circle of Life” (yeah that’s from The Lion King but the fact that I own up to that shit makes me badass so whatever), “Wannabe” (again, juvenile, whatever, Spice Girls rule), and the theme song to Star Wars. I’m fairly certain the last one is what actually gets my ass out of bed. Every morning I feel like I’m a Jedi going to save the realm from Sith Lords. If that doesn’t make you feel badass then you are in the wrong place.
2. Don’t reply to your texts right away. You’re badass. You should be off being badass somewhere and not anxiously awaiting text messages. Who cares if your dad is going in for life-threatening surgery? You’re playing Rated R video games or showing off your badass graffiti skills on the back wall at that 7-Eleven or throwing water balloons at those punk-ass kids in your neighbourhood. You should be off paying your badass debt to society. Not reading and replying to texts moments after you receive them. Psh. Pathetic.
3. Be spontaneous. And don’t be afraid about being spontaneous because you can be spontaneous and still be scared. But those who are badass are not afraid. You can pick up all your shit and take it to a new location. You can go on a trip last minute. Which is why I’m the perfect badass. Because I’m going to San Francisco. TOMORROW!
You: “SHUT UP!”
Me: “HELL YEAH, I AM THAT BADASS.”
Well… gotta go pack.