Well, you may have noticed that July is no longer. Last time we talked I was on the brink of travel. San Francisco treated me well. And I turned 22. That is my July in a nutshell.
Everything else has been… um… less than interesting. That is why I haven’t written, folks. And I’m upset about that.
I set out this summer to do all these new things and embody a gung-ho, worldly perspective on life. That lasted about 5 minutes. Not that I still don’t feel that way… I just didn’t get around to doing things that way. No, July has been more a month of speculation and self-reflection. I am really feeling the pressure of the future. What’s worse is when I tell everyone my plans and then I end up with all of these opposing little opinions nagging at my conscience. It’s so hard to separate what you think is right for yourself from what others think is right for you. A lot of people, I mean, A LOT of people, want me to go back to school in the fall. I don’t. It’s hard to explain but I just don’t think I’m ready for it. School will always be there. It will be in the same place. But I don’t want to compromise things that I think I can accomplish now for being a little more closer to a degree and lot more closer to debt. Maybe when I’m not IN school, I will take classes that go towards my degree. Maybe. But school isn’t the only thing that gets me to learn, to progress. Obviously, my position is not ideal. If people think this is my plan, then they must think I am the shittiest planner of all time. I will listen to what everyone has to say but, ultimately, the only person making the decision is me. I guess the lesson of this is that I have to trust myself. IT IS A LOT HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS PEOPLE!!!! (so kindly shaddup)
Oh, and I am just really not pleased with my hair lately. I feel like everywhere I look, there is a woman with a bangin’ head of hair and then I look at mine and it’s all flat and plain. I hate being plain. Please earth, grant me some full, just enough tousle to look imperfect but still presentable hair. PLEASE. That is really all I ask. I’d probably ask for a nice head of hair over $1000. No kidding.
On a positive note (sorta) I am twenty twooooo…… yeah, because getting older is always soooo positive. Some of my close friends and I wrung in my new age with a chill splendour of memories. It was amazing to be able to spend time with my friends, whom I know are so busy and off living their lives in places far, far away. And for the others that couldn’t make it, I understand that too. Birthdays aren’t really a big thing for me but I think it’s important to spend time with those people you call your friends. If you begin to fall out of touch, it’s hard to call that a friendship.
One city I don’t want to keep out of touch with: SAN FRANCISCO. I really like that city. It’s got all of these cool districts so everybody can feel at home somewhere. The food is amazing and restaurants are in abundance. The people are interesting. The shopping is so tempting. The streets and views are beautiful. I walked (or hiked), biked, ferried, and rode in streetcars and cable cars all over that city. It’s such a fucking cool place. Being there made me so excited to come back and explore each and every corner of my city, which I have begun to do.
I am tackling August with some hopeful advice, memories, and motivation.