I really did want to post this on Tuesday. I just didn’t get around to it. I was probably off being a bum somewhere. Oh the life I live…
Today’s theme is … THING THURSDAY!!!!
Yeah, I don’t really have a better descriptor for that but don’t worry, you should enjoy this.
So I never do this… But I’m going to talk about boys. Trust me, I never talk about boys. I never gush about Ryan Gosling or Justin Timberlake or IT cuties. I just never do that. But today I am going to entertain the women of the world by reaching out to the men of the world in a constructively critical way. I just want to make my message clear that most females do not expect much of you but we do expect SOMETHING of you. These are the things I look for in a guy:
Use of proper spelling and grammar via all forms of written communication, including Facebook, text messages, emails, etc. Nothing makes me want to lock up my lady parts more than a poorly constructed sentence. Dude, use punctuation and capitalisation. Know how to spell. You get extra points if you use Canadian/British spelling (not American spelling, ew), which is what I prefer.
Make the moves. I may make some but don’t just expect me to come crawling into your bed. I absolutely hate it when a guy can’t dig up the balls to simply talk to me. Just no. Know what you’re doing. And if you like me, then let me know. I don’t want to feel like I’m more experienced than you.
Be older than me. This is something you really can’t help but I am sorry. If you are younger than me, that makes me feel a thousand years old. I don’t like feeling a thousand years old. This also applies to when you are older than me but you look about twelve years old. Once again… EW.
Be funny. Who doesn’t like to laugh? Nobody. That’s who.
Have style. This does not involve going to Hollister and buying the same shirt in forty different colours. If your entire wardrobe is defined by brands smeared across chests and asses, you are not for me. Style is simply letting your clothes reflect your personality. For example, if you are a nerd, wear Star Wars tees (I have 2). If you listen to gangsta rap, wear baggy jeans with your gonch hanging out. (That was a joke)
Play an instrument or sing or both. I am pretty sure that since the dawn of time, having the voice of an angel has never failed someone in the no-pants dance department. Playing an instrument shows me that you can commit to shit and it’s probably a good thing if you could commit to a relationship too. (If you could sing like this guy, my current obsession, I would die a little. If you are this guy, I would die a lot.)
Have a quirk. It could be anything – you only eat one kind of cereal or you pronounce a word wrong or your make a funny face when you concentrate, whatever – as long as it’s not like picking your nose or your butt or something gross. Quirks make you more intriguing.
Take me to concerts. I fucking love concerts.
My dad has to like you. That is the kicker. Which basically means that you have to like sports. And really, it can be any sport. I don’t care.
I mean, I’m not asking a lot. Really, I’m just asking you to have some balls, make some jokes, be a proper human being, and like, be a rockstar.
Basically, I want you to be Tom DeLonge. I would so be his girl at the rock show.
Now playing out my post to some Angels & Airwaves…
Thursdays suck… until now!