Work, at this moment, is my life. I am 22. This is should not how things should be. Yet I am so content with how my life has progressed. My goal right now is to be constantly learning, constantly improving myself. Despite the fact that I have “taken a leave of absence” from school, I have found that I am actually achieving this goal. Never in my life would I have thought that I would be one of those workhorse people. If I could, I would divide my time between napping, reading books, and watching Game of Thrones (my obsession with Kit Harington is growing more and more unhealthy). But I’m cool with how things are right now. Like super cool. And it’s been worth it.
No seriously though, it has been worth it. I’ve learned so much about myself just from working my 40 hours a week. I have found that I have good ideas, I ask smart questions, I have a visual memory so I don’t need to be organised (which is good because I’m not organised at all), and I am persistent. If you ask me to get something done, I will do whatever it takes to get it done for you.
Something else I learned this past week is that I have an underlying competitive spirit. Competition is not my thing – I have my own standards for myself that I am constantly trying to top but I don’t really seek competition amongst others. However, when I really, REALLY want something and I know I am totally deserving of it … and then I don’t get it… that stings. I feel a little… vengeful, is the best word to describe it. As in, I want to prove others wrong. I want to make them feel as though they’ve missed a big opportunity by not giving me what I want. I’m talking about a job, not like a puppy or something. So that is fuelling my fire right now. Which is why I am taking on a few more work-related extra-curriculars…
My current weekend has had a strong emphasis on all work no play. However, that’s not quite true. Yes, yesterday I was helping one of my most dear and talented friends at his fashion show. There was a lot of work culminating toward that 15 minute show but we managed to have a lot of fun doing it. Today, I am reading up on some programs we use at work, educating myself on some legislations, and writing some processes up for my successors. I also want to get a workout in, start reading the A Song of Fire and Ice series, and clean my bedroom. Oh, and my dad wants to me to make a quiche (I’m not making any promises on how well that is going to turn out). But I still make an effort to not be so lame. I am doing all of this while watching Hercules soooo yeah. I’m super grown up.
I have realised, though, that the thing about work is that everybody gets something a little different out of it.
When I help out my friend with his fashion show, the work I feel I do is minimal – I offer my opinions, create visual presentations, and monitor social media – but the end result from the work of him and me and everyone else involved is what makes the entire experience. I am excited when I see his designs hanging up in his basement but I get full body goosebumps when I see them on these beautifully made-up women on the runway. Neither of those feelings can top the moment when I look around the room, where there aren’t even enough chairs to house all of the audience members, and realise that I am not the only one who feels this way.
And then there is the work that I perform at my job. For the most part, I don’t always get to see the end result. I am just one cog in an intricate machine. A lot of my work is ongoing and although it can be measured, numbers don’t mean that much to me. However, there are the little victories. Those moments when my boss and I are in complete agreement, when we’re taking a few minutes out of the day to joke around, when I can challenge others with things they’ve never thought of before, when I am stuck with a problem and I have to solve it like now, when I am given tasks with great responsibility, and, of course, when I know I have improved my skills.
I have come to appreciate the fruits of my labour, whether it be something I can physically see, tangibly touch, mentally measure, or emotionally experience. I think that is why I don’t feel like my work is work.
I am at a point in my life where I soon need to decide what it is that I want to do. I am starting to consider pursuing the path that I am currently on because I do feel as though I like the place I am in. I just don’t want to give up all of these things that I want to do with my life for something that makes me happy for now. So basically, I have a lot to think about.